Pleasure Dreaming

Everything seems to be fuzzy, a blur in my life with vague sounds.

“I don’t’ have to explain to you about my responsibilities, I am full grown woman and I know what they are! You don’t have to attack me with such accusations”.

“Accusations… How am I?”

“Maa, paa; what’s happening?” 

“You’ve woke him up, are you happy now?”

“I’m happy? You think I hold some sort of grudge against my own son?”

“Paa, why are you picking me up?”

“What are you talking Rahul beta, your sleepy come I’ll put you to bed!”

“But Paa, i’m 20… I am big… i…”

“I know you want to be big and want to sort out mom and dad’s issues beta but trust me you’re not old enough, your tiered; now rest well”

As I sleep on the bed with the door open and the light of the dining room hitting my face I hear screams and crockery falling and breaking. I am scared yet confused as to how I am this. Suddenly a huge white light barges into my room from the half opened door and a screeching voice howls in my ears, I am blinded by the light and I scream in pain.

Everything is white, and I close my eyes but things now seem to be coming into focus, I feel funny regarding my body, I feel a little bigger.

“Rahul, why are you screaming in my classroom? You have such audacity to misbehave while I teach?”

“Teacher I… I was. Was having a nightmare”

“A nightmare? In the middle of the day, in school, were you day dreaming my boy? Or were you sleeping with your eyes open?”

“I don’t know teacher, I was at home and my parents were shouting and I have a headache, this screeching pain in my ear as well… I don’t know how to explain it to you…”

“Go and explain it to the principal, get out of my class this instance!”

The teacher is taking me down to the principal’s room holding my hand with a tight grip, I feel very light headed yet so perplexed. I ask her name:

“Teacher what is your name?”

“You forgot my name boy? Are you under some illegal materials of sorts?”

“No teacher…”

“Then shut up and walk with me!”

She takes me to the room where my judgment is decided. Looking at my face the principal deemed me sick and asked me to pack my bag and go home. I go upstairs and as I cross the boy’s washroom; two big goons stand in front of me, grab a hold on me and push me into the washroom where they bully me and dip me in the water basket. I scream, my constant vision is blurred but the only image I can see are the ventilator and the beams of sunlight passing through it. The light gets intense as I come out of the water and suddenly this screeching howl in my ear and this time more clearly; it sounds like…get…Rahul…

This time my vision is blurred and is darkened, and silent yet sweet voice in anger is calling out to me.

“What the hell Rahul, we haven’t even started yet and your gasping for air; you alright babe?”

This pretty girl with her hair loose and a concerned yet angry look is in front of me with her two unbuttoned shirt buttons giving me a clear image of what lies below.

“Nothing I’m just a little scared that’s all”

“Aw, my little cougar is scared? It’s alright we’ll take it nice and easy” (she winks)

“Wait up; now hold on for a second. Why are we doing this?”

“Ok Rahul, now just shut up, Stop acting and get on with it; don’t make our first anniversary boring.”

“Give me your license”


“Your ID proof, anything!”

“Okay seriously? What are you a T.T? You’re really acting like a retard babe!”

“Can you just show it to me?”

She hands me her pan card and I read her name, this time I don’t want to get yelled at for not knowing a name and she might just slap me. Plus I do want to have sex with her, she is smoking hot.  I see, Neha Sharma, Age 19, at least she’s legal.

“Are you done? Can I climb aboard the train now?” (She is going to come on me)

I hear the screeching howl again, it’s increasing in its magnitude and I am able to hear a jumble of words. I push Neha away and I hold my head.

“What the fuck Rahul, what the fuck is wrong with you”?

“Neha, I’m sorry, my head is paining real bad.”

“Don’t give me that Bullshit Rahul, if you’re scared admit it man”

“I’m not Neha, I’m really having a headache!”

The screeching howl is increasing and panning around my head, it’s very confusing, and it’s maddening.

“I’m getting up and leaving!”

“Wait Neha, Don’t!”

“Where is the light?”

 She gets off me and goes towards the switchboard and switches on the light, and my eyes are blinded by this huge blast of white light piercing my eye; I can’t see anything, I feel like dying. Then everything is quite, nothing but a screeching sound. I can feel my hands and legs and my penis. The screeching noise stops and I hear my sister’s voice: “Rahul get up! You’re late!”

I open my eyes and see my little sister’s face in front of me.

I ask her, “What happened?”

“Bhaiya (brother) you’re late for college!” I switched on the light, opened the windows, tried opening your eyes but you closed them back!”

 I had my answers with that sentence, I also asked her: “Did I mumble or talk while I was asleep?”

“You were almost screaming, you said “Maa”, “Teacher…teacher”, “Neha stop it.” Who is she?”

I pushed my sister out of bed and kicked her out of the room and told her not to disturb me as I was going back to bed, she insisted on knowing who was this “NEHA”, I told her; “I’m going to meet her now”, “I’ll tell you what’s she like when I come back”









On the edge of my City


This is an honest post, not that my other posts were false, but this one comes straight from the heart. After a lot of soul searching, thinking, walking around, traveling, writing,capturing; i have contemplated that my home gives me the strength to move forward. Who am I here? In the city of Hyderabad. An unknown, an alien of sorts but i kind of found my footing here, so that’s done and said. When there are times of trouble or times of sorrow; i look back at my roots in the form of pictures, memories or old friends. Human Beings need one thing and that is to be in their comfort zone and expand the little bubble that you have created and what one needs is a blow of fresh air, oh yes i can imagine it the salty air that and the wind which keeps shouting in your ear. Motivation is an entity that one requires and one needs to conquer the lethargic attitude to motivate oneself on getting up on time. The little things in life give a solidarity that no matter how big you are, your always little to somebody else in the world or in the universe! People think of philosophies,methods of peace,virtues,cynicism; but apart from this, “where is the living for yourself part?”. Sometimes in life and most of you would agree that i haven’t lived for myself all the time. 

Standing on the edge of the city i realized that apart from all the power,wealth,knowledge in the world that builds you up; we forget to look at the main frontier of life! “Love”, not just to our fellow human beings or opposite sexes but to the matter around you. Every moment is a celebration of love, or an aspiration towards love, or to live the love of your life. The power of love is always an unimaginable power of great magnitude. 




I don’t post two times in a day but today calls for a very special occasion! i found my Koel Bird!!!!! It might look creepy but its got elegance and a beautiful voice! Hard to find, hard to take the picture as well. Finally, accomplished my mission.

Shadow in the water

Shadow in the water

Reflections of oneself cannot be tamed
They ripple and spread like the weary flame
Reflections of oneself cannot be named
Because they are different and not the same
They are your allies, your friends
Who linger not only as reflections but shadows, till the gloomy ends
You are not alone, for you have yourself
Keep calm to your senses that you have been given another you
To keep you sane and to keep you happy
When you look at the mirror or walk on a lonely street
Walking by your ever long journey, walking by every beat

The Thought about the thought’s of thought’s


Life is but a thought
Ought to wrought
In the mind of minds
What does one simply ask for?
There are a lot of things in store
If we can make that happen
Then we can dream our reality
Instead of lust,greed and cruelty
It is nothing but a simple life that we ask for
So here’s the door
Lets think deep
It’s off balanced, like walking on the ocean floor
Where the cracks try to seep
The salty water into the earth
Where life is evident
Where the invention of thought has its birth
Here i am at the center of the earth
I am to enter a deeper whole
I guess this is my goal
To find out what my thought is about
I see it finally without a doubt
That whats there at the center of my planet
Because if there was ever a place of peace or the actual afterlife
Its right here in the center of my mind
Where the most important find
Is the thought about you that gives me happiness to live my life