A suicidal thought

It is that part of the day when you go on to the terrace of a high building feel the wind in your hair and look at the amazing sunset and think aloud what you wanted to say all this while. You might shout or you might cry but the wind supports the purpose you have come here for. Life can be excruciating at times and all the hardships which you have faced and taken head on leave you all worn out and rusted; it is like you are almost going to break down because of all this. At this particular time you recollect what you might have done in your life? The good things and the bad things, the crazy things, the mind blowing things, the mad things; it’s happening right in front of you. Now you move about on the terrace, kicking the cement rubble and looking at the birds flying home. This gives you another thought about heading home, resting on your mother’s lap, eating home food, getting pampered. Now the childhood memories come in. The school life kicks in; you start remembering your friends, you remember the teachers who would support you which would be overlapped by the teachers who would slap you, hit you, harass you, de motivates you. Negative vibes are a part and parcel of life. But who would know that they become the epicenter of your life. Then you sit on a ledge by the generator which is turned off, you become a little more comfortable, relaxed almost as if you are de-stressed. A cigarette is taken out as you think smoking relaxes the nerves, yes smoking kills but people are not fools to smoke something which kills them and does not help them, everyone knows how it helps it’s just the wannabes who pretend to get some sort of a high. When any person who is completely comfortable you think about something which is close to the heart, Love. Starting off with the first crush you ever had, the pains you had to go through to get her. The first Kiss, the first time you made out, the good moments. But then like a smack in a face you end up thinking about why didn’t it work out? It goes on for the other girls you had in your life. If there was any special one I’m sure she’s the one you’d take her with you through the rest of your life no matter where you go. The last drag and you think it’s a big waste of your time. But then again it feels nice that you have affected so many people in a way. You get up, throw the cigarette in style and dust yourself (as if it happens). You go on to the ledge where the valet is taking your boss’s car to the parking lot, now there’s a huge gush of wind heading your way. This is it, the defining the moment. But before your final act, maybe you should think that the girl in your group kind of likes you, that the work you are doing is so stressful that you might get a big bonus, that your parents are counting on you to make it big for yourself because the love and care they have put in day in and day out is so that you can be what they never could, maybe show the women in your life that you are strong without them, your friends who you have shared the most intimate moments with are waiting for you at the reunion. You look down, almost about to drop. Everything is quiet.

Back at your desk, here you have your co workers and the girl you like surrounded telling this story. All of them clap. Suicide is not a crime; it’s a path everyone will come across. The choice is always yours. The darkest times of our lives always turn out to be the brightest.


8 thoughts on “A suicidal thought

    • Yes! Thank you! I believe that we all have a choice to do the right thing. Sometimes things get out of hand and we try to take the extreme step. But we can always overcome that.

  1. You are right, it’s always our choice. What I used to think when speeding with my motorbike was “c’mon it won’t hurt, i am gonna hit my bike on a truck, or speeding so fast without helmet until my eyes hurt with purpose to slip or lose control of bike.”
    But i am still alive until now..

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