Emotionalised at last

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Somewhere in this big big world! There has to be a place where i can sit back and relax. It’s ought to be there somewhere. This was the thought which came into my mind when i was watching the sunset. I was vexed and super tensed and i didn’t have my psychologist to help me out; so i relied on myself and i kind of did well.

I have always believed in the power of love and no matter how many contradictions one might have or the realities it might have to face, that feeling can move mountains. If one believes in themselves and be honest even if its going to lead you where you do not want to go, do it. Because love comes knocking on your door, unexpectedly and impatient; it’s up to you if you want to open it, i sure as hell have! Because when you are loved by mockers,haters,users and people who gloat; you kind of get choked up. Unless you see someone different from the crowd.

Everyone deserves to be loved and my quest has taken me beyond that. It’s an indescribable feeling of trust, that who ever i meet; even if i can’t be who they expect or find me funny or charming; i can surely guarantee a huge amount of trust which they can bank on. Because back in the old days i was not one of them trustworthy people, i was bad; complete anarchy. But experiencing different situations and emotions i found myself to turn into a new leaf. i still think I’m bad but hey i get the opposite reaction otherwise.

I think the thoughts which cloud our judgement can be cleared in any second with the right feeling. It cost me an exile to get here. I’ve laid down my armor and removed my sweaty helmet; for i have now come to Elysium.

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CHEROPHOBIA

There are good days, bad days and strange days. I tend to have the strange days often lot. I am scared for some unknown reason, a fear which eludes me from saying the right things which makes me end up in the wrong situations. It’s by experience that if i am happy, something bad is bound to happen.

Rhea watches the kids play in front of her house from her huge window. She stares into the joys and dangers of life. It would seem a bit unusual for a child to think like this isn’t it? Well children do think a lot and writing it here would be more mature but children have a way of thinking about life at their own level of thought. A bit silent yet honest and good at heart, rhea seems to be the perfect balance of being a mature and a good child. Sometimes she runs wild only to simmer down to the fact that something stops her from laughing out loud. She just stops. And this what Rhea’s mom had noticed when they were playing tag. It was something different and disturbing for the mother as she saw her daughter become quiet all of a sudden. One night, she asked rhea while putting her to bed if there was something that was disturbing her; she had no reply to that question and instinctively she immediately slept. This was something which troubled the mother a lot. She was up all night, drinking some wine and researching about this behavior. One day, rhea was having a tea party with her stuffed animals and it was a great moment, she was laughing and serving tea around the table and it was great, until when her cousin arrived and she was excited to see her and they started to play with each other. After she left, she came back with the feeling of resuming her tea party but it didn’t happen. She looked at the stuffed animals with a perplexed look, feeling detached from her imaginary world she now just looks at stuffed animals. Tears seem to race down from her eyes. When her mother came in it was something she could not bare. She took rhea to a child psychiatrist. They met the doctor and he did what he was supposed to do and diagnosed her as the fear of being happy. He gave rhea a lollipop and asked her to go to  the playground for sometime and have fun. Like any other, she was excited to see children play in the swings and the slides but something stopped her and eventually she ended up sitting on the bench. A boy came to her and asked her if she could share her lollipop. She was skeptical but she did share it. He asked her if she wanted to join his friends and play “tag”, she hesitated and declined. Rhea was enjoying the fun the kids were having and the boy noticed it, he simply said: “You’re having fun in your mind! Why don’t you come and play? She said that its alright she’d be better off watching. “Do you feel something bad would happen?” and for the first time, rhea heard her own conscious speak through someone else. She mumbled but said yes. “It’s quiet alright you know, i used to think like that. I was scared of playing and having fun thinking I’d fall and hurt myself real bad. But then i lost my parents, it felt even worse. Rhea was stone cold. “I understood then that it’s alright to fall down and get hurt. After you get up, it feels great! The boy was pulled in to play and rhea was left shocked and in a way at ease. She understood that its okay to face the ups and downs of life. In her own level of thought.

Rhea’s mom called her as they were about to leave. They started walking and her mom kept talking about inspirational stories and that they would come back again for more therapy. She asked rhea how she was feeling about this, rhea replied: “I’m quiet alright mum”. Her mother stopped and keeled down and looked at her, worried, ” Are you sure? What happened? I can understand that your scared, i am too but it’s okay sweety we can do it together you don’t have to be”. “I’m fine mum, i feel better”. For the first time her mother saw rhea smile like never before, she saw it in her eyes and it was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. She knew her daughter had grown up.  Her daughter felt alive and happy.

The End