Mail to heaven

Dear god,

I hope you are in the pink of health. Love the way things have turned out. I hope all things are balanced with you. The truth is that I don’t know why am I acting this way? Am I acting this way because I am confused? Or is just come as a shocker for me? The truth is you know my heart, you made it! I have no sense of how the world is or how it will be. I am going to let things be the way are supposed to be. If people love each other, then who am I to interfere? Because love is not supposed to be kind or rude or have any feelings, love is how you make of it.  Let time pass, let the love pass I have no issues. I guess I know where the problem lies, it lies within me, and I am the problem. How do we fix this problem? I do not know, but I will work hard towards it. This new year will be a new me. I will work to the very ends of the earth. To be somewhere, to be someone and make my dreams come true. What can I do with my life? Where is my life heading? Will I ever find love in my life? How are you going to answer these questions for me?  Right now I think I’ going to just take some rest because honestly god I feel weak at the moment. I feel like I’m falling from the sky into a deep abyss. I don’t expect anyone to catch me. I feel alone in life god. I feel like crying at some points of life. I need your reassuring hand of hope and comfort.




The Green Leaf of the winter sunset


At times when there seems to be a little pain
Walk by the winter road and see it rain
Drink in the rain of your memories devine
I promise you, someday we’ll be fine

Walk by the park of this winter sunrise
See the birds, bee’s and trees, will this suffice?
If not then smell the fresh green air
Feel the wind massage your thick hair
Remove your shoes and let the grass tickle your feet
Don’t you hide it! Smile away and show those glossy teeth

Having fun? Lets get something to eat
Would you care to chew the grass or chomp the meat?
Have a little bread and butter in the middle
Look at the dogs come to be a second fiddle
Throw some of the meat and be rid of their riddle

Now walk to the winter lake and see the sunset
See the birds, the light and the sky all so correct
Close your eyes and imagine your there
Your the center of the universe with everyone there to care
Breathe in a bit of the beggenings of the winter night
Open your eyes and see yourself shine so bright


Life in a coral colony 3  (Part 1) (Part 2)

The tidal conditions seem to be out of hand here and the sea seems to be enraged by what I have done. The true condition of my health seems to be picking up like the wind in the air. My destination waits. Coral colony seems to be full of mist and wonder from my point of view. But my journey from the back of the ship to the front edge of the ship shows my confidence and my eagerness to get back on land. Wonder how a person’s character changes inside the sea and onto the land.  The truth is that we are comfortable and powerful in our own dominion.

The port of coral colony seems to be beautiful. It’s full of fish, it smells of fish and it looks a big fish as well. And as the ship makes port, the captain and its two sailors wish me luck in my journey and give me a basic layout of the island.

“Now listen up lad, this island is known for its gruesome ladies so don’t be soft on em! If you are, they will split you open like a fresh port oyster”

I take his advice with full composure.

Off I go, into the wilderness where women can take you apart.

The ship docks and I head off towards the port office.

This city seems to be ignorant of the fact that a stranger has come to its shores, people are grey here. I’m hungry. I would kill for something tastier. The taste of ship stew was overwhelming of fish taste and my stomach was rusting with such a taste. But the problem was I have no money. What can one do?

Few blocks away on the street to my right I see a fish & Chips diner, i have a rave idea but I have to give it a shot.  So I head down to the shop and bear witness to the casualties of the island folk. I head up to the lady at the counter giving out orders to be undertaken. I walk up to her and ask her, “Dear madam, if you would so kind enough to offer me some food, anything would be fine”.  She laughs, “Oi, Marge, this poor ol’ sod is asking for free food, they’ve developed some nerves I tell ya”, I feel embarrassed but out of desperateness I start to plead. “Madam, I have no job, no shelter and no food, if it anything was possible, I would work to eat and sleep at work”. She looks amazed yet dumbfounded, “You would do that laddy? You would work just for food? Are ya joking?”  “No madam I am not, I beg of you”.

She gives me few coins and asks me to go eat something near the sausage vendor while she thinks about a position I could fit in. “You’re not going to run away aren’t you lad? Like leave me to them whales? “

“No madam, I give you my word”

“Isn’t he like one of them prince charming sort of folk? Kind isn’t he?” , another girl washing the dishes tells from the corner.

“Bugger off and make those dishes smell good Nina”

“Come back in an hour and let’s see what becomes of you, and if I may know what’s your name lad?”


Life in a Coral Colony 2 ( Part 1)

Coming back to life is such a breathtaking experience.  Maybe so that the world needs to spend more time in the water thinking that they are so tiny than living on land thinking they are superior to every being in the universe.  As I open my fizzled eyes cough out and vomit probably the entire sea, I start getting my consciousness back. I remember who I am now. My lungs clear of the water stored in me. As the water escapes of my body, the cold wraps me up tight like never before. The air seems to be very dry and scaly. And apparently I am surrounded by bearded rough men who have the most weakest and concerned faces.

“Are you alright lad’?

“Let him be, he’s in some kind of shock”

“Aye, the lad is in shock; take him to the stern deck”

“Aye sir”

I was picked up, covered with an olive green rough blanket and made to sit at the back of the ship.

“What would you like laddy, we’ve got some hot stew brewing in the lower deck, would you like that? Or you care for something strong, Perhaps a little whisky?

“Stew please sir”

“Sir!, good god we have royalty on board. Ha Ha Ha.

Another sailor comes beside him, “it’s alright lad, we’re not used to gentle folk, they think of us as vagabonds of the sea; that’s the impression of us merchants.

They let me be.

I feel the warmth of my body, as if my body were to hug me with love. That we’ve made it, we’ve passed the death, we have not cheated but beaten death. Giving everything we have got and still overcame death.

I sip the stew little by little and it makes me feel great, I feel strong again. My body is warm now as my skin starts to turn red and blossom like the winter spring. I thank the sailors who saved my life. They tell me that the ship’s fishnet bar hit something and they thought they had struck gold with a big tuna, but it turned out that what I thought about death was nothing but a lie, it was a miracle. I asked them where we were heading; they said they were going to the island of coral colony.  They had asked me why I was adrift at sea, was I burgled on a ship or was marooned by a ship. I told them the latter.

So here I am continuing my journey on the very substance that almost killed me, Heading towards this island known as coral colony. Wonder what adventures this island would take me through.

To be Continued…

Personified & Dismantled

Sometimes there are many questions that need to be answered. Many wrongs that need to be set right. I see panic faces wherever I go. I march on the road towards my goal rather than walking towards it. I see fire on the streets and violent clashes. I see innocent children getting slaughtered, I feel their pain, just for a second and that stays on till a lifetime.

Now in this scene of madness and chaos I see such complexities of emotional disparities. I see ourselves falling down from the evolutionary ladder and sinking ourselves to the scum that we truly are. Who are we to call ourselves the dominant species regardless of our population? Blood splattered on the streets, heads crushed by rocks, best ways of venting frustration and anger. That’s what man does best. We kill our own kind to exert and be rid of such emotion.

Here I am, bruised and slain with cuts and injuries.  I try to crawl beneath such slime but I get picked up and get hurled at. It’s terrible and it’s disturbing. I’m trying to reach out but I’m failing. This gathering of men of different communities isn’t happening and I have to bail out of here. I finally find a way but the ground is covered with blood and I have no other option but to slither, taste the blood and reach my goal. But just then there seems to be a great divide, the sound of sirens brings out a sudden sense of hope, this last spark of desperation.  I see the men screaming and running for their lives. I see them drop their axes, i see my destination. I see my life staring at me crying out for help, I see her holding on for her life in this bloody cyclone, she’s not crying but I can see the tears gushing out of her eyes, I look at her and she looks at me. I don’t say anything neither does she says anything to me, she knows that I’m coming for her and with all desperation I run like there’s no tomorrow. While the other atrocities run in a scattered direction I run straight. I look to my left as I see the police grounding themselves with their rubber pellet guns and water cannons, ready to charge. I know that I’m going to come in the way of all that yet if I die or injure myself more to death I will do it. I limp and run, I can feel every minute cell in my body burning itself with energy, my heart pumping me to push me forward. Every breath I take hurts, I cry and my body is crying with me, we are one; this is the defining moment where body and soul converge.  Pellets hit my ribs, I cry harder and run; the water cannon is discharged, sweeps me off my feet, I fall. I get up, scraping myself.  I run. I’m almost there. I can make it.

I reach out to her; she’s hiding in her little cave, an elevated pit for the metro construction. She’s covered in mud and that’s fine because she loves to play in the dirt and I’m never going to stop her from doing so. She runs towards me, she jumps towards me and I pick her up. My little girl, my brave little girl, we hug each other and cry. And I don’t hear her complain about “dad you’re squeezing me”.  We make an exit towards the cops as I explain that we are family and they let us escape. We are quiet, we catch the nearest bus and climb aboard it.

Now there is only silence, the breeze that hits us both. We know, we understand the sacrifice, we understand the love between us and nothing else can tear us apart.

Life In A Coral Colony

There are a series of waves which I cannot overcome. The sand beneath my feet is sinking and I am trying to clinch it as tight as I can. I have never experienced fear like this. The wave is pulling me in. Stuck between the shore and the sea, is this how I am meant to live? Is this how I am meant to die? Is there any solace in what I am doing?

So here I am, trying to find ground. I try to run but the water is too difficult to swim through and even if I touch the ground I rub across the slippery pebbles and I sink. I can feel a sense of warmth around me. My body is trying to survive; it’s trying to propel itself into the unknown. But the sad part is when I’m trying to survive my mind is showing me these vague memories of my family, the good times with my friends, the times with my girl; all the things as if my body is trying to comfort me and asking me to relax while all the muscles take care of the movement.  This is it; this is the moment where my body and mind are trying to LIVE.

I get pulled in even more and I finally find a rock, a solid marble stone you could say and was holding on. I could feel the wave pull me in; I could feel the current flow through my veins. I am submerged, there are thunderous sounds surrounded by clouds of bubbles. My vision is all blurred and only a maroon-dark rock I was holding on to was visible. I wish I had 10 fingers to cling on to but it was like a villain plucking off each finger that was happening with me. The last finger was feeling the soul of the rock. As if the rock was holding on to the ground in-turn catching on to me, weeping, sweating it out. Sadly that was not the case, the rock was home to some creature and there was no point holding on to the rock because I would drag it along with me in the ocean. So I left him, he may mourn me but I left the rock and I sunk myself into the raging waves and mixed currents of the ocean.

This was a horrible feeling. This was the feeling of death! My eyes got used to the blur of the water that I could see what was happening to me. I was beneath the pretty skirts of the waves as if I was being washed in a washing machine. I’m scared not because of the dark abyss below but for the fact that I feel so light and free and I am not used to such an atmosphere because I’ve lived my life to the fullest thinking that the ground beneath my feet was the end all and be all of all things.

The current makes me venture into the ocean as I sink deeper I see the light fading my eyes; I see her in the lighter side of the ocean, she’s sinking with me. Her black long hair flowing as the current brushes past her face, her white perfect body glowing in the black and blue, those earthly brown eyes staring into my very soul calling me out to leave this vessel of pain and join her in the heavenly stars, I float in this emptiness as this strange current pulls me closer to her. I try to reach out to her, this is maddening because she might be my apparition but I’m going to die anyway so how does it matter? I put in everything I have to reach out and touch her, but that goes in vein; she just bubbles away.

There is pain in my chest; my lungs have shrunken to an unimaginable extent. There is nothing left for me but to let my body succumb to the water. I can feel the water coming towards the eye and the tear duct, that last desperate attempt to let go of my fear.  The time has come. My body is prepared.

As I close my eyes I feel the weight of the faintish feeling and as I open my mouth, I feel a huge thud at the back of my head. Is this what death feels like? Does it start like this? I blackout and let go as I hear whaling noises. Finally I am done.