I don’t’ know what to say at times. The world seems just so fake to me. It’s meaningless. I feel like the more and more i enter or grow up to this world, the more it uses me, the more dissatisfied I become. I mean, where is my life going? In a country where talent is stripped and only licking asses to get power is prescribed, I don’t get the point to keep going at it. What does it take to get into the light and speak out for those who don’t have a voice? Why have i always been a voice for those who cannot express themselves? For those who don’t have anybody to share their pain with? I have absorbed all that pain and it has not effected me yet! But when i need somebody, nobody! No fucking anybody has even the common courtesy to say “hello” or “how are you?” . I get it that everybody has their own lives to live, but man; a courtesy call? Anything? Is that life? Take all the shit you can for being good and get rewarded with even more pain? I want to smile and laugh and feel free. Maybe that’s why I’ve left the job which doesn’t suit my role. I don’t want to go into depression, I don’t know what it is, but I’m trying my best no to. I get strange fucking dreams which creep me out at times. This balance really kills me. But that’s me, I guess. At the end after all this chaos, i can fucking stand and look at all this and make some sense in my decision. What a fucked up world we live. It’s not that grim folks, with people like me holding that, the word is not that grim.