I’m being honest about my honesty right now and I am writing this letter to tell you that I have found an angel in the midst of human beings. Oh yes, she will be seeing this so this is not flattery and this is genuine out of the heart stuff so no messing around with freewill even though you don’t choose to interfere. But just on a note, I’m doing this my way. Humor aside, I believe that when you deem yourself unworthy and unacceptable and get succumbed to the negativity that you unnecessarily create, without you knowing you happen to see a silver lining. I know I’m going through twist and turns for you to understand but I’ll simplify it in a sense of a story.
Every day during college I would run around people like the dog looking for food and something to munch about. I see my close friend meeting this girl with an umbrella, she has dim eyes and that’s only if you look from far away but if you look close enough you will see the universe. She has this clear smile showing her perfect teeth. But the curiosity grew when at random times I would see her and she would see me. Just for 5 seconds, but It would feel like a communication, I knew at the back of my head that there was something, just to know this person. Curiosity did kill the cat that day. I hate cats.
But I remember the first time we spoke was in the college canteen she and her friend were talking to me about our mutual friends back in my hometown. I got to know her a little bit more on Valentine’s Day. That day the three of her best friend’s just chill out at her place. Started chatting on facebook, spoke about poetry and tried teaching her poetry and over the months as the conversations grew and as I met her you start to feel this endless warmth on a clear winter night, you should try that god it’s super comforting. Conversations are endless and they just go on as long as our body pushes us to sleep. And there’s always an extra 5 minutes of talking which ends up becoming 45 min more. The photo story when we went on road trips, that was just crazy!
Through her tales about her relationship with her father I learnt the importance of not evading the trifling moments with my father but to solve them and create a greater bond. And I did so and spoke with my dad one day and he told me that he’s proud to see the man that I have become. It felt so enriching.
And when the feeling of affections came into my life, I was super hesitant to tell her so but I did eventually, she took it like a boss! There are endless uncompleted stories I wrote getting inspirations in every conversation that we had, “the psychologist, the psychologist and the grunge teen” all uncompleted titles waiting to be finished. I’ll need her help maybe if she is willing.
On a softer note god, there are nights when I come back from work and just sit on my chair and think looking at the stars, is this a fool’s dream, am I worthy, am I just who I am supposed to be at this very moment. I do love her, but that might never be the case with her so no one is condemning or waiting for a response. I’m not going to screw it up by complicating things in haste. “Come what may and we shall see it hay on a later day”. I am not perfect in any sense, but she’s just beautiful on the inside and outside as well. She’s got a great life and she has opened my eyes and shown me what life really is and deserves to have it, she’s got an unbelievable crazy, down to earth sort of friends who’d go through fire if they had to for her. That shows the magnitude of her character. For the kind of human being she is and the peace that she emits, she’s shown me that humans can be angels too, they are right here on this planet, right in front of us.
P.S: She eats a lot of salt.