Mail to heaven 6

Dear god,

I’m confused in life right now. I have no idea what i am doing or where i am heading to, i need help and guidance. i know i’m not the religious kind but i suppose there are exceptions for my kind of people. If you could broadcast a message for me to all the people in the world who i would have caused a world of pain, “i am sorry”. I feel like going on a journey which would make me happy and make me think less. I want the cold wind to hit my face and say “hey, its okay!” I feel as if i am stuck on a sheet with glue below my feet and i’m trying my best to get unstuck, but the glue is so damn hard. I went about my life trying to understand the world, but the fact is that i couldn’t understand myself; what gives me the strength and right to understand the world? I feel like discovering something new, writing something new. Starting life as a new blank page with a beautiful black fountain pen, ah; i can smell the rough paper and ink merge to become something beautiful. I need help god.

Love

Me

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The Little Man

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Breaking bonds and barriers and walking
I have seen the world talking
About metal and land
About rubies, diamonds & sand
I see these wastelands shouting
Crying for these people lay dead on her mothers hands
I see these poor children homeless
They speak through their eyes and its haunting
Are we so heartless?
This is my task that is so daunting
I feel the river spit blood of toxic waste
Have we become so blinded by our much needed haste?
I see bonds break and form new ones
I see children shackled by fear and metal guns
I hear their soul crying out for help behind that smile
Oh that smile of hope
Erase these lands of greed and dope
Erase these reached  hearts and show them the light

For all the women, men and children reaching out
Fear not of being unarmed with the guns of the west
To see the light we must go through the dark, that is our test
For i am a little man & love is my biggest weapon and i shall fight

Roy

Picture Credits: Ankita P.S

Mail to heaven 5

Dear god,
Today was Freud. He’s not a bad chap.
Today we made the happy box. It’s a box where if anything happy happened to you you write it down and put in the box and open it at the end of the year. Its amazing! So we made a box today. Covered it with chart paper. Did some painting on it and stuck stuff. And I wrote down my first happy moment and it was all this.
We were listening to a variety of songs, old Hindi and old English.
No better way to spend a Sunday.
Digital detox. I’m looking forward to put notes in it and open it at the end of the year!
Love
Me

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Mail to heaven 4

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Some good food, good game and an amazing person to be with

Dear god,
When you wind up after another day of work. When a certain something happens. The thought hits you that everyday is not the same my friend! I got a call from her and she was going about her own business and she called and asked if we could meet. There were changes in plans but we finally ended up going to a coffee shop. But to pick her up, had to go through mammoth traffic and I was simply honking my way through even though I hate doing that.
I rode her bike for the first time and she pretty much didn’t have faith in me with it because it was pretty old and only she knew how to ride it. But I managed to gain her trust by riding it. And her bike is smooth as butter on a pan, damn. And all the while, as we went about crossings, potholes, bastards honking asking for way and some people bursting crackers for the ayappa swamis, she got pissed and was scolding them even though the crackers were loud but having a continuous conversation just made everything seem so little. The cold didn’t effect me as well! Oh ya, thanks for making the moon look so nice and putting stars as a good accompaniment. Sweet, very romantic. Humour aside, I got to see her school on the way. Could see her bubbling with joy. Then that kind of dropped down as she showed me her college which somehow looked more like a prison.
We reached the coffee place and sat. She loves the atmosphere of that place and has fond memories. Best part is, we placed the order and saw a bunch of uno cards and started playing. I lost 2-1. Not intentionally but yeah I lost.
She looked amazing there. Just can’t describe how but yes she was.
We left the place and we bumped into an old mutual friend who happened to have a long conversation with us, she told us about how she got a job in DNA Mumbai and her problems. The stars she’s met, she actually met Salman, amir khan. Wow man. The two of them spoke about blue cross and had a conversation about dogs. But at the end she finally broke the ice and we had to leave. So we said goodbye.
So yeah, we were coming back through the same road and we just went on and on and on and on about many things. It was freezing cold as my fingers became numb but that didn’t matter. We went by her school again and she screamed telling that she loves her school so much.
So at the end of it all, parked her bike inside, gave a hug and left and I said something which I forgot but yeah this time I didn’t cock up the ending. She kind of liked what I said.
One of the best days ever. Something to treasure for life.
Thanks for listening
Love
Me

Mail to Heaven 3

Dear god,

Sorry for the late reply, been kind of busy. So as i came back from my vacation everything snapped in a flash. But it was also a sign of change. I discovered a change in myself. I don’t judge or don’t think defensively anymore, i just listen. I had dinner with my close friend who had issues from the past and has been troubled since few months. I guess for him it was some sort of a healing moment venting out so much steam and negativity. I believe that our past doesn’t dictate who we are in the present or in the future. Everyone has their pasts which we all want to bury and its a process which takes time. It did feel nice that i was there for someone. If you can, look into his problem and provide him a solution. He has the will to change, to be out of his little ball of misery. Everyone see’s hardships and i guess when your at the end of all that you don’t relish that you have reached the end but how you reached it. People have a lot to say and so very little time to express it. I want to change that.

Love

Me

Mail to heaven 2

Dear god,

I’m being honest about my honesty right now and I am writing this letter to tell you that I have found an angel in the midst of human beings. Oh yes, she will be seeing this so this is not flattery and this is genuine out of the heart stuff so no messing around with freewill even though you don’t choose to interfere. But just on a note, I’m doing this my way. Humor aside, I believe that when you deem yourself unworthy and unacceptable and get succumbed to the negativity that you unnecessarily create, without you knowing you happen to see a silver lining. I know I’m going through twist and turns for you to understand but I’ll simplify it in a sense of a story.

Every day during college I would run around people like the dog looking for food and something to munch about.  I see my close friend meeting this girl with an umbrella, she has dim eyes and that’s only if you look from far away but if you look close enough you will see the universe. She has this clear smile showing her perfect teeth. But the curiosity grew when at random times I would see her and she would see me. Just for 5 seconds, but It would feel like a communication, I knew at the back of my head that there was something, just to know this person. Curiosity did kill the cat that day. I hate cats.

But I remember the first time we spoke was in the college canteen she and her friend were talking to me about our mutual friends back in my hometown. I got to know her a little bit more on Valentine’s Day. That day the three of her best friend’s just chill out at her place. Started chatting on facebook, spoke about poetry and tried teaching her poetry and over the months as the conversations grew and as I met her you start to feel this endless warmth on a clear winter night, you should try that god it’s super comforting.  Conversations are endless and they just go on as long as our body pushes us to sleep. And there’s always an extra 5 minutes of talking which ends up becoming 45 min more. The photo story when we went on road trips, that was just crazy!

Through her tales about her relationship with her father I learnt the importance of not evading the trifling moments with my father but to solve them and create a greater bond.  And I did so and  spoke with my dad one day and he told me that he’s proud to see the man that I have become. It felt so enriching.

And when the feeling of affections came into my life, I was super hesitant to tell her so but I did eventually, she took it like a boss! There are endless uncompleted stories I wrote getting inspirations in every conversation that we had, “the psychologist, the psychologist and the grunge teen” all uncompleted titles waiting to be finished. I’ll need her help maybe if she is willing.

On a softer note god, there are nights when I come back from work and just sit on my chair and think looking at the stars, is this a fool’s dream, am I worthy, am I just who I am supposed to be at this very moment. I do love her, but that might never be the case with her so no one is condemning or waiting for a response. I’m not going to screw it up by complicating things in haste. “Come what may and we shall see it hay on a later day”.  I am not perfect in any sense, but she’s just beautiful on the inside and outside as well. She’s got a great life and she has opened my eyes and shown me what life really is and deserves to have it, she’s got an unbelievable crazy, down to earth sort of friends who’d go through fire if they had to for her. That shows the magnitude of her character. For the kind of human being she is and the peace that she emits, she’s shown me that humans can be angels too, they are right here on this planet, right in front of us.

Love

Me

P.S: She eats a lot of salt.