I think we are creatures of the dark. What’s the problem with the dark? Just because its black it means its negative? Do you know how many good deeds go down the road to end up becoming nightmare’s to others? I don’t know, i’m just saying. So if you haven’t caught my point yet i’l explain to you in the form of a small little story.
I was against the monsters in the world who were nothing but trash. I was trash i can proudly say that. Because you can proudly say anything once you know deep down inside that you are not going to go back there again. I treated my love like a child because i was one, immature feelings got the better of me. It happens. The first love and all. But as time passes by, you tend to feel a huge burden on you, a burden of guilt, these nightmares, these uncomfortable spaces cramping up to you in the largest of fields. What the hell is this doc? Its your conscience telling you that you have to go back there and finish what you started. Like a blessing in disguise, she replies to my message after 4 months when i thought about this and i took that as a sign. Not a sign for getting back or re-kindling any sort of spark (that’s fate and you don’t want to mess with it). But a sign to make me think straight and work better and live better. It might be the most stupidest feeling or the most not thought about feeling but my dear folks, its the most important feeling you would ever have. This feeling was never there continuously, it comes and goes during some moments. Four years is a pretty long time. But when i actually spoke to her about it, asking for forgiveness, i don’t know if she did or what, but i felt a whole lot better manning up to her and doing so. Maybe she might have been proud or didn’t give a damn ( it’s freewill for god’s sake) but i sure as hell felt a lot better. I think i overcame my biggest fear and strengthened my self against my biggest weakness, not that she was my biggest weakness, but the fact of guilt residing in me was. I met her, and it was just like old times, talking to an old friend where it was paused for a long time.
Thank you so much.